They Are Women and They Roar By Singing and Yelling Their Songs

Name: Cupcake Throwdown

Origin: Angel's offhand description of a past contest on Bobby Flay's television show, Throwdown! with Bobby Flay--a show involving an expert in a specific culinary arena and Mr. Flay as a challenger cooking the same recipe as the expert, and an episode in which the cupcake expert informed (according to Angel) Mr. Flay that she would defeat him; she did not.

Suggested Uses:
1. All-Female Band: This one lends itself to punk or rockabilly. It's not a straight rock band because the name implies some ironic sensibility. Cupcakes are small versions of cakes. They are frosted and fluffy and delicious and eaten at birthday parties. They are inherently innocent. Connecting this concept of a delicate celebratory treat with the word "throwdown" indicates that the members of this band are aware of how women have been viewed, at times, in the course of history (most likely but not limited to American history) and would like to juxtapose that perception with the idea of a battle or challenge. Throwdown is a sudden word, a word that indicates everything was fine and then suddenly and perhaps violently not fine. It also implies that someone made the decision to move the situation from fine to not fine by issuing a challenge, picking a fight, or rousing some rabble by throwing down the proverbial gauntlet. These cupcakes are angry cupcakes who are not afraid of getting their pretty frosting tousled in a fight.
2. Roller Derby Team: Much of the same applies. Differences would include the presence of physical violence rather than the idea or possibility of it accompanied by rebelious attitudes, and nicknames* turning pretty feminine phrases (themed around baking) on their heads to denote a more dangerous kind of lady.

*It is not unheard of, though, for the members of bands to adopt stage personas including nicknames, so this could well apply to Use #1 as well.

Cairo Calling

Name: Funsani the Camel Policeman

Origin: Non-player Character (NPC) in Facebook My Heroes Ability application. Funsani can be found shooting, with his rifle, all genetically-altered humans who attack him (without cause, we must say) in the Saladin Citadel of Cairo, Egypt.

Suggested Uses:
1. Side-Project in the Already Successful Career of an Independent Rock or Electronica* Musician: Fans will wonder: Is this the work of my favorite musician on his own, or is it one of those projects where the name indicates a singular person but really applies to a collective entity under the guise of a lone musician? Is the inspiration for this side-project a real camel policeman, separately designated from policemen who walk about on foot or drive in the cars with sirens and lights, or is this a persona created solely as the name of this singluar musical project (which may or may not be one person)? Is Funsani representative of the lives of all camel policemen (real or created) or is he standing alone and thus named and not left as the simply generic Camel Policeman? These fans will be intrigued and want to purchase the difficult-to-track-down albums, go to the intimate and lowly-lit concerts, download the specially-released mp3s, and feel generally cooler than other, lesser music fans (who perhaps know of the original band, but not the side-project) when they mention that they know about Funsani the Camel Policeman, they own the albums, have been to the concerts, and they can let you listen to the mp3s on their iPods.
2. Concept Album: Each song on "Funsani the Camel Policeman" tells of his plight in some way or another. His wife and his two daughters at home (feminine and mysterious), his religious secret religious doubts, his lack of political interest despite working for the government, his want for adventure beyond carrying a rifle and riding a dromedary in Cairo, his desire for new and better laws that people yearn to follow, and all the large and small things that find themselves in the head of Funsani. Perhaps The Flaming Lips or Radiohead**. Perhaps someone undiscovered yet brilliant.

*Take your pick.

**The Flaming Lips because they had an album about a person battling pink robots; Radiohead because, well, we don't really know other than they came up when we thought of it. Sometimes the connections are ethereal, are they not?

Get Sauced

Name: Special Sauce

Origin: North Face Special Sauce Full Zip, a pacific blue and red jacket* in the Men's Apparel>Coats & Jackets section of UrbanOutfitters.com (was $64.99, now $49.99!), via the flagship sandwich sold at McDonald's fast food restaurants.

Suggested Uses:
1. DJ: To the best of our knowledge, no one has adopted the moniker DJ Special Sauce in order to make a career spinning the 1's and 2's. We uncovered what may be evidence for a song or an MC, but no DJs, and we honestly have no idea why that is the case. This is the name of one who concocts new and exciting beats never heard before. If that is you, become DJ Special Sauce and let the turntables be your test kitchen.
2. Streetballer: The streetball is a distant, hip-hop cousin of the DJ, and we feel that Special Sauce** could make his competitors look and feel foolish on a basketball court. As with the DJ, this particular streetballer would be inventing new moves to arouse Ooohs and Aaahs from adoring crowds sitting on bleachers or leaning on chain-link fences. This player would not be adept at dunking, but at hoodwinking his foes with his mastery of dribbling in radical and unimitable ways, and passing in a nearly ridiculous, highly-improbable style. Simply put, Special Sauce is a master of making the basketball appear and disappear as his pleases.

*We have no idea why this particular jacket has Special Sauce as a part of its name. We feel we may be missing something because of the lack of obvious clues, but we will not be troubled by that for very long.

**We are aware of Hot Sauce and his And1 fame. Perhaps this influenced our suggested use as a streetball nickname, but it only dawned on us after we proposed the name. We are not attempting to infringe. We just call them as we see them, and we see that there are plenty of sauces out there for culinary uses, so we not for sporting uses as well?

Root, Root, Root for the Horsebeans

Name: The Chongqing Strange-Taste Horsebeans

Origin: A picture of a bag of treats or candies of some sort, via an email forward, via the epicenter of "the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design," engrish.com.

Suggested Use: A fantasy sports team of some sort. It's intimidation factor is low (who would fear horsebeans?), but it rates well in quirkiness (they hail from Chongqing, a city in China's Sichuan Province!* and they taste strange!) and complexity (two disparate adjectives, one geographical and one culinary, modifying a nonsensical compound noun). Fantasy sports are largely void of intimidation due to the lack of any actual physical competition, but are fertile ground for this sort of oddball nomenclature.

Perhaps this name is best suited for the long April-to-September haul of a fantasy baseball season for its potential to either annoy fellow competitors or grow on them as an endearing and enjoyably integral part of the experience in your particular league (the former causing frustration and lower competitor performance, the latter slowly earning preferential treatment in trades and policy decisions). Baseball also seems more plausibe in China than the other main fantasy sport, NFL football, thus giving the name some grounding in reality and lending it the feel of a piece of magical realism (like this could actually be a real team playing in China's fledgling China Baseball League).

*We do not recommend substituting your own city, state, or other geographical place name for Chongqing in this name because, frankly, that would not work as well: The Duluth Strange-Taste Horsebeans, The Saskatchewan Strange-Taste Horsebeans or The Redondo Beach Strange-Taste Horsebeans are simply awkward and forced, a nominal version of a shotgun wedding. Stick with Chongqing, my friend.